Sunday, December 14, 2014
I would turn graphite to diamonds,
Draw my heart out on canvases
Sketch wonders with graceful strokes,
If I could sing,
I would turn feelings to sounds
Strum heartbeats into soothing melodies
Sing people songs that moves emotions,
If I could write,
I would write you a poem,
String words into a heartmelting bouquet
Turn silent words into butterflies in bellies
Rainbows can be seen, sung, and read.
Tears can be in ink, melodies, and pictures
Let your ideas run wild
Expression doesn't deserve suppression
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Alas, a grim dawn has come. I am Vesuvius. The toilet bowl is Pompeii. Last night's Chicken Tikka Masala is molten fiery lava. I am Pompeii's final reckoning; exacting punishment from above. None shall escape the inevitable - neither the sinful nor the innocent. Let the noses of the unfortunate witness this divine destruction I bring to this land. Pray that those above have mercy on their souls.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Perhaps it is because of the bond formed out of pure feelings with no strings attached, nothing at stake on the table, and nothing to gain that makes it so long-lasting. Hell, some of these bonds are so strong that not even time affects it; the feelings just go dormant. Due time, the flame of friendship pops out like nothing ever changed.
If I were to give an honest opinion, the best friends I have ever had were the ones I met in lower secondary school. Well, maybe the fact that we bathed, ate, and slept together played a big part in fostering that brotherhood, but nevertheless, it was formed without any self-interest - unconditional.
After those 3 memorable years, I was then introduced to reality. The reality that to have friends is to have something to give in return for the friendship. Unconditional friendships are only stumbled upon once in a blue moon. The rarity is then exacerbated by our attachment to online media. Thus, leading to an environment that is so hostile towards true friendship.
In venting out my repressed anger, I wish to deduce from my own experiences that as the amount of brain increases, friendship values decreases. I would choose befriending the school gangster because they believe that the people around them are the ones keeping their hidden broken pieces together. I have had 2 enemies who became my best friends because after you get through that rough and rude exterior, what you'll see is a gentle person that will go through extreme lengths to save you.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
I recreated the scene from Perks of Being a Wallflower on my way to Washington DC. I felt so free. The feel of the cool night wind blowing on my face, the rush from the speed. I played a song mentally in head: Last Words - Real Tuesday Weld.
With the tunnel closing to an end, I closed my eyes.
It really felt like how you described it Charlie.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Saturday, September 13, 2014
My mind is a room that belongs to a lazy, fat, stoned, semi gamer and full time procrastinator college kid.
And my imaginary being is in that room; taking the form of an ant. An ant that is trying to weave through what is a labyrinth even for a human million times his size.
I don't know myself anymore. Once upon a time, I was too eager to find myself. So I myself on a quest to find the "missing" parts of me. I set out with eagerness and high hopes but I was unprepared. I was ignorant. I was too naive. I was just a pig trying to fly but ending up being a muddy mess who thought his spoinky tail was wings and his snout was a mighty hawk's beak.
The pig is not a hawk. Nay, he is not even a pig anymore. He is a fool
Turns out the parts of me weren't missing. I just didn't accept myself. The missing puzzles that I fanatically searched for were merely stuck to my fat back from me sleeping too much.
No climax. No one claps. I will retreat back to my sty. Only to find that I couldn't call it home anymore. I am now lost. Cursed to lie in the mud.
Well, I will turn to mud anyway. What was the word for a certain fate again? Oh yeah. Inevitable.
At least I have Anis Mojgani and his poems.
I am tired of writing, Still haven't found why I am in the mud.
I'll make mud angels then.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
2) "Why do you expect me to share when almost everything I used to tell you received hostile responses?"
3) "Live with these facts, I'm not a drug addict, I don't smoke, I'm still a virgin, I'm a typical lazy youth, my studies are fine and I won't go deeper than that. (smiles)"
4) "Why am I not sharing? Gee, I don't know Mum, that's what happens when you get sent to hostels since you're 13 years old"
5) "It's for me to deal with, and for you to not find out (kisses Mum and leave the table)"
6) "(point behind them and make a shocked face) LOOK! MILEY CYRUS!!! (runs away)"
7) "No thank you, it will definitely lead you to say that everything is my fault and I should do this, do that, blablabla"
8) "No thank you, I will not let you use what I share against me to prove your points or make me feel bad in arguments"
9) "No thank you, I wish not to add gossip materials in your conversations with aunts"
10) "There is a line drawn between my life outside and inside of the house"
11) "According to a Venn diagram of my personal life and family life, they do not intersect. So I wish to not share."
12) A more diplomatic response - "I love you Mum, but I'm sorry, this is something that I cannot share"
13) And finally.... "I don't trust you with my secrets"
I love my parents but I believe that my problems should be dealt alone. Responses of conservative minds regarding the mischief in my personal life is too overwhelming and unnecessary. Last thing I want is my parents judging me.
P.S. Noone has an "open book life". You won't show the quotes of dirty bits you enjoy in a book to your parents or friends right?
Thursday, April 3, 2014
I do know that behind every "just kidding", there is some truth.
Probably I haven't dealt with plenty of conversations. Okay right now it's like I'm trapped in a circle. I am uncomfortable and traumatized in dealing with conversations, but I do need to converse more. Get the endlessness of my situation?
However realistically, humans indeed are cruel creatures. We eat everything; even each other (literally figuratively).
Back to the problem, the difficulty to distinguish the 2 above situation earlier makes it harder to come up with a response in defense of myself (face it, who would wanna be looked as a wimp?).
Oh well, our parents would've told us to "ignore them" on the basis that "if you do not have anything nice to say,then don't say anything". Admittedly there is some truth to these ideas but these truths are widely rejected amongst youths today. They're just gonna keep coming at you.
Guess all that is left is just to keep away from those who hurt you.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
I often decide to just release a silent whisper of "fuck you" to them and continue on with my life.
Friday, March 14, 2014
As you tighten your grip, the burst of hormonal cocktail does its magic - adrenaline slowing down time and giving you a pseudo-superhuman strength and reflex. At those seconds, you wonder what the first signs of damage is. Will it be the rupturing of the pulmonary blood vessels? Will it be the collapsing of the windpipe? Or perhaps (PERHAPS) will it be the snapping of the vertebrae?
The world has an abundance of people with twisted ideas. But what makes us different from those psychopaths out there is our lack of action on our wild imaginations.
So I unclench my fists, take a deep breath, and show a mental middle finger.