"Syuk, bagak ramai kawan kau! Macam semua orang kenal kau!" Well that statement set me aback. Because all this time, aku ni taklah berapa ramai kawan, hanya sebilangan sahaja. Ya, kebanyakan dari mereka kenal aku but they just scraped the surface of me. They haven't got through life alongside me, and if they did, maybe some of them will hate me by now. Yes, it is true, people tend to think I'm easy going and friendly through the early stages of a friendship. But trust me, some will bail out when they see the worst of me, only the ones that stayed with me through thick and thin are the ones that i deem as real friends.
Truth to be told, I am socially passive, I dont reminisce that much with friends, I just live in the moment, I do occasionally text the old-schoolmate-I-once-went-with but not too often.
Yes, I am picky, I am judgmental, I am not a good person, I am just a human being. Despite what people say about me, my darker side always tend to dissolve the positive impression i give to people.
1000 kindness done, yet no one realizes nor appreciates it, 1 bad deed, and everyone will be ranting about you.
But I don't care, If they hate the people doing bad things, they'll either live long enough to see themselves doing it or being punished by the people upstairs for hating a person. I mean I am trying to change for the better for my family, friends and special people(Lokman, Shaf, Dikna, Jayjay, Hakim and some other unmentionables) who always make my life seem that less lonely.
So now I'm just this boring person with a bad personality and bad table manners(HAHAHA) in aplace where everyone just seem better than me.
Well it got me thinking why Allah chose this place for me, but I'm sure I'll find out one day, As always, I'll find out and by that time, I'll be in tears thanking You.