Saturday, March 24, 2012

PLKN : The Cocoon

    The skies are still dark, and only the crickets and cicadas are singing their endless melodies, adding a sense of rhythm to the songs of my Walkman. Once in a while I look hard as I exhale, trying to search for a white huff as the air escapes from my mouth. But then I realized I'm not in Switzerland or the States, I'm just stuck in Negeri Sembilan, in a National Service camp with only myself, clothings and lots of hope and effort.
    My morning jogs usually let m mind wander off to places, to old sweet memories, to my love life, to my family, to the things I did wrong in the past, to the things I'm trying to fix within myself. And when I'm done with all the nostalgia and regrets, I've done 13 rounds, which was satisfying, because 13 is my favorite number.
    But I'm not talking about my rounds, I'm going to dive into the philosophies that I thought about on the days that I did in my jogs. Philosophies that were born from my experiences in there, philosophies that I find interesting but still can't relate to in my life.
    "Love doesn't promise trust, but with trust, the love will exist by itself", which was coined by my experiences in Integration class. When Cikgu Ati heard this, she found it interesting, perhaps the philosophie found its way into her personal life, well her private life is her own right, I have my own, and so far, it has been happy and joyful and I'm thankful for that.
    "If you train hard, you fight easy, you win the war, but if you train easy, you fight hard, you die". Well that came out from the Penghulu's mouth as we were having a meeting amongst the rank holders in the camp. That made it clear that the ideology of RMC(Royal Military College) is still grasping strong in his soul. But I find it quite unique besides the fact that the meaning is clichéd. Well if it is put into BM it sounds like this, "bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian".
    "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller", which was the chorus from Kelly Clarkson's song What Doesn't Kill You. Well if looked at a bigger picture, the significant of this phrase is shown during my hard times in PLKN. The morning drills are a drag, the food is bad, the coaches are a bunch of dumbheads that are always into last minute work and always seem to have conflicts with each other(I know, they told it to us, mengumpat sana mengumpat sini), and with some of them always in a bad mood(or maybe their mouths and attitudes are that bitchy), and not to forget, the routines are tiring and very nerve wrecking because everything is not on schedule, plus, some of the guys there are complete A-holes and the some of the girls are pure B-atches. So yeah, a short "sesi lepas geram" right there. But then, it didn't kill me, it only made me realize of the big cold cruel world I'll be facing as I step into a whole new phase in my life.
    Well maybe I left out a few of my other philosophies(because I forgot). But then the 3 above already got me thinking about myself and the people around me. And since I'm a Martian and this National Service stuff is like being thrown into a cave might as well sit down and reflect on myself. Guess that'll take a lot of time, and the next activity for today is 'kawad kaki' AND I haven't done my prayers yet. Well guess that's it from my pen today.

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