Superhero

Inspired from The Fighter – Gym Class Heroes ft Ryan Tedder    


       The pen kept clicking, disturbing the seemingly cold and awkward silence in the Principal's office. "Um, Mrs Ain, this isn't the first time he's been here because of his disciplinary problems…", and the endless babble about the school rules and discipline. June looked at his 12 year old son beside her, his face showed innocence- his eyes showed no regrets. But she knew he did it again, that's why she was called to the Principals Office for the umpteenth time.


    Just like any usual weekday, the day is hectic, sweaty and noisy, unlike the atmosphere in the car as it rolled down the streets of Bangi, it was silent and cold. "So Hakim, why did you get into a fight again today?" Ain asked, trying to fake a sporting tone, but didn't seem to fit with the golden question she was asking. That bad combination got a very cold "I don't know" from her son, which ended the conversation immediately. Both of them stayed silent throughout the 10 minutes journey home, a two bedroom apartment somewhere in Kajang.


    Ain stared from the kitchen, watching her son doing his homework in the living room. "Alah Ain, budak nak membesar.. that is usual," the jolly voice of her mother talking through the phone.


" But Makk, getting into fights in school IS NOT normal!"
"Then tanyalah dia kenapa he gets into fight?"
"He won't tell"
"Then be patient, doa banyak-banyak bagi hati dia lembut, he is much like his father"
"Yeah, yes he is," Ain said slowly and hung up the phone.


       Her ablution took of the heat from her body, giving her a surge of calmness flowing around her body. She performed her Maghrib prayers then continued to pray, it was her secret between God and herself.


      That night dinner was quiet, only sounds of cutleries and the cicadas were heard from their shabby yet peaceful abode. And as she tucked Hakim to sleep, suddenly his one and only son asked, "Mum, can you tell me a story?Please?"


      Ain was gobsmacked, out of the blue, a really challenging request, "Well.." her mind raced quickly, and when she found her tongue again, her tongue suddenly got a life of its own.


      "There was once a boy, he hailed from somewhere far far away, his eyes were hazel, his hair was jet black and always had a slight curl at its end. He was very very poor, his father died a long long time ago.


       Having only a few clothes and some money, he left his village to the big big city, where the buildings stand with such monstrosity, and the people are of different skin color and languages. Where hopes and dreams can become reality or just a mere fantasy."


      Hakim's eyes became round, just like the full moon that shone through the window pane, full of interest, she took a pause, then continued.


       "He became a 'superhero', with his dark blue costume! He fights bad bad BAD people with his other superheroes!"


       "Can he fly?Can he fly?"


        "Noo, he can't..but he had this white supercar that went VROOM! With the red and blue lights, when the bad people see him and heard him, they all run away helter skelter!" and she tickled Hakim, which sent him giggling."And ONE day, he was walking, then he heard someone shouted HELP!HELP!HELP!, he saw a damsel in distress shouting, her handbag had been snatched. So he quickly sprung into action! He ran like the wind through the streets of the city. And with a quick jump, he sent bad guy falling on the sidewalk!" Ain continued her story while reenacting the action with 2 of Hakim's action figures.


         "And just like that, he gave the handbag back to the woman, and as their hands brushed against each other, they fell in love."

         "Let me guess, they lived happily ever after?" again Hakim interrupted, with his face resembling the trollface from 9gag.com.


         "Yes, yes they did, they had a son, he was cute, with hazel eyes just like his father, and a nose just like him" And Ain pinched Hakim's buttonlike nose."OUCH!" He shrieked.


         "But one day, something tragic happened, an old man forgot to turn off his kitchen, one thing led to another, his whole house went ablaze. And the superhero woke up in the middle of the night and smelt smoke, the inferno had moved to their house too. He hastily jumped from the bed and opened the bedroom door, only to find out half of the house is on fire. He woke up his darling wife and told her to relax and not panic. He then used his superstrength to open the grill, it burnt his hands real bad, but he managed to get his wife out from the house. Then he went through the door to save their little baby boy."


        "Then?" Hakim asked anxiously


           "He didn't make it.. the other superheroes in red and black costumes found him the next day, with many stones and wood on him, he used his last superstrength to protect the one he loved the most" Ain took a deep breath, in sounded shaky, then continued, "Under his body they found a baby, still safely sleeping, unhurt except for a burn on his arm."."So he sacrificed himself for his son?" Asked Hakim,. "Yes, and I, sacrificed myself to bail you out from the Principal's office!"


        "They we're disturbing my classmate." Hakim suddenly said.
         "What?" Ain said, hardly believing her ears.
         "The guys we're disturbing June, the small girl, they took her bag, I took it back  from them"
          "Oh, okay, I will talk about it with your Principal tomorrow," Ain replied, acting not to be surprised.
         "Mom, I want to be like the superhero in the story." Hakim said, with a promising glint in his eyes.


          "You will be okay?You are one already" She sid softly and pecked his son on the forehead before shutting of the lights and exiting the room. Before she left, she glanced at her son, eyes already shut, with his hand exposed, she saw the burn scar on his arm, she recognized it too well.


         "Hey Mom," Hakim suddenly said from the darkness.
          "Yeah?"
          "The superhero is actually a policeman right?"
          Ain grinned, "Goodnight".


           Outside, in held out a locket, it was the only thing besides her little boy that meant the world to her, a old heart shaped locket, with all its fine carvings. She opened the locket, revealing a small picture of a man in his 30's, his long brown hair slightly closing his right eye, with a smile that showed a line of pearly white teeth, the perfect smile, the smile that was the cure of all pain to her, and not to forget the hazel eyes that stared at her with such curiosity while he handed her handbag from the snatchthief. Her husband's soul may be somewhere far away, somewhere unknown, but she knows that he's happy and contempt, his last deed in life was only of a man with such a magnitude of love that it could crush the mountains and dry the seas could complete, her superhero in dark blue, with a big heart. And somehow, the heart of a lion that he had managed to be carried on to his flesh and blood, who happens to be sleeping in the very house she is in. Ain wiped a bead of tear on her cheek, "Faiz, he wants to be just like you". And that night, Ain slept well, knowing that she had a lion in her humble abode, brave and protective, a fighter.

PLKN : The Butterfly

    The glare of my watch reflected by the morning sunlight caught my eye. It gave me a grasp on the reality I'm in. I bet sometimes people have nightmares, one thing about nightmares is just that it is a bad dream, and one thing about dreams is that you never know when it started, you just simply get caught in the middle of all the action and the nightmare ends before a happy/sad/violent ending with you waking up(in my case, someone waking me up for Subuh prayers). I always look at National service as a nightmare, but I can't call it a nightmare because I know when it started which was on the 1^st of January and I know when will it end which is on the 17^th of March, and the fact that it had its up and and downs made it unsuitable to be called a LIVING nightmare either. And I really didn't want it to start and I really didn't want it to end. So yeah, to be honest I never really made my mind if I liked the National Service or not. So if people ask me, I'll just say 'entahlah' or just fake an answer, because If they wanted an honest answer, go and get your lazy ass in National Service yourself. To me, 'best' or 'tak best' is something I'd like to keep to my own self. Hidden and stowed away in the depths of my memories.
    Probably it's because of what did you went through in the whole 2 months and 17 days. And I am not copying this post on a relic that I have written during my days in there, NO, this was what I wanted to write today, at this moment as a witness of what I went through and what I became after all of my time in the 'cave'.
Well back to the reality at that time. The 'Last Pose' song started to play, and the National Service flag started to move downwards. And as Ezal said the magic word(UP!), I slow walked, step by step, slowly but surely, It's very uncomfortable when people are watching you, especially when you're all sweaty and your face is holding up the tears. But then the job has to be done. This is the last time I'll be able to hold the company flag with all its splendour. The flag taught me honor, and this is the last deed I get to do to it. Before it is packed up away and locked up somewhere, forgotten. Well I can't stop its fate anyway. This is my last day here, but although the flag is gone. Fragments of it still exist in my camera and in this blog.
    I took a deep breath that night, a weight was finally lifted of my shoulder, the rank on my shoulders was taken off on the same spot that my rank was put on to me. No more Second In Charge, no more responsibility to my company. But what are the inputs? Well I already knew what my philosophies are and that I wanted to follow them, added to it my own philosophy, "kita gemilang hingga noktah". But what were the things that I wanted to be when I step out of this place? Am I a somebody yet? Did I learn something here? I think I did, but the tiredness overpowered me, I spent the whole night packing and I performed and cried on stage. Enough is enough, I must rest.
    "Gelang Si Paku Gelang", Sipran sang that song as my bus to Putrajaya parked itself in front of the marching field. I cried a little as I watched my friends below.Bye Wan, bye Faiz, bye Alan, bye Ayi, bye Ezal, bye Busy, Bye Ad, Bye Oya,Bye Eddie, Bye Alvin, Bye KSP, it was a helluva ride.
    But as the tires rolled out of the compounds of the camp, then a spark hit me, everything felt so clear. Why am I always procrastinating? Why am I so oblivious? Why do I always let people get the worst of me? Did I give my best in everything? Is love important now? Can I make a better future for myself?
    I then wiped my tears and looked on the moving horizon, the sun is still rising, just like me, I haven't reached the climax of my game, I'm just getting started. And at that moment, I felt my wings spread wide open, majestic and brilliant, ready to fly. I said to myself, "I am ready".

PLKN : The Cocoon

    The skies are still dark, and only the crickets and cicadas are singing their endless melodies, adding a sense of rhythm to the songs of my Walkman. Once in a while I look hard as I exhale, trying to search for a white huff as the air escapes from my mouth. But then I realized I'm not in Switzerland or the States, I'm just stuck in Negeri Sembilan, in a National Service camp with only myself, clothings and lots of hope and effort.
    My morning jogs usually let m mind wander off to places, to old sweet memories, to my love life, to my family, to the things I did wrong in the past, to the things I'm trying to fix within myself. And when I'm done with all the nostalgia and regrets, I've done 13 rounds, which was satisfying, because 13 is my favorite number.
    But I'm not talking about my rounds, I'm going to dive into the philosophies that I thought about on the days that I did in my jogs. Philosophies that were born from my experiences in there, philosophies that I find interesting but still can't relate to in my life.
    "Love doesn't promise trust, but with trust, the love will exist by itself", which was coined by my experiences in Integration class. When Cikgu Ati heard this, she found it interesting, perhaps the philosophie found its way into her personal life, well her private life is her own right, I have my own, and so far, it has been happy and joyful and I'm thankful for that.
    "If you train hard, you fight easy, you win the war, but if you train easy, you fight hard, you die". Well that came out from the Penghulu's mouth as we were having a meeting amongst the rank holders in the camp. That made it clear that the ideology of RMC(Royal Military College) is still grasping strong in his soul. But I find it quite unique besides the fact that the meaning is clichéd. Well if it is put into BM it sounds like this, "bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian".
    "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller", which was the chorus from Kelly Clarkson's song What Doesn't Kill You. Well if looked at a bigger picture, the significant of this phrase is shown during my hard times in PLKN. The morning drills are a drag, the food is bad, the coaches are a bunch of dumbheads that are always into last minute work and always seem to have conflicts with each other(I know, they told it to us, mengumpat sana mengumpat sini), and with some of them always in a bad mood(or maybe their mouths and attitudes are that bitchy), and not to forget, the routines are tiring and very nerve wrecking because everything is not on schedule, plus, some of the guys there are complete A-holes and the some of the girls are pure B-atches. So yeah, a short "sesi lepas geram" right there. But then, it didn't kill me, it only made me realize of the big cold cruel world I'll be facing as I step into a whole new phase in my life.
    Well maybe I left out a few of my other philosophies(because I forgot). But then the 3 above already got me thinking about myself and the people around me. And since I'm a Martian and this National Service stuff is like being thrown into a cave might as well sit down and reflect on myself. Guess that'll take a lot of time, and the next activity for today is 'kawad kaki' AND I haven't done my prayers yet. Well guess that's it from my pen today.
    

PLKN : The Caterpillar

    Loose weary shuffles echo throughout the atmosphere of the cold damp morning. The footsteps are all headed out from the marching field. Faces of different colors but same hair and scarf are around me, all have their heads down, as if they would kiss the earth any moment, exhaustion was clearly written on their faces, their eyes are still droopy, longing for the softness of the bed and the welcoming warm embrace of their blankets. Yet some of them still have the strength in them to lift their faces up and gaze the horizon, and among the faces was mine. A glimpse of the sun shone on my face, perhaps it meant hope for me? Only the Almighty knows.
    I take a whiff of the morning air and continued to look around me. That morning, the fog was hanging so low on the hills. They looked like a snowy white fluffy blanket enveloping a still sleeping body. It looked so comfy, so warm and so cozy. Such a miraculous view that I get to witness often in this camp.
    Taking off the issued battered up National Service shoes gave me a relief. It was very uncomfortable and the socks were too thin. Some of my friend's shoes already had gaping wide holes, some even had mouths! Sheathing off the light blue PT shirt added to the satisfaction. As I walked towards the toilet, the breeze picked up, and the wind licked my sweaty back, it was pure serenity. Sometimes even the smallest and most ridiculous things that always make you calm and contempt.
    As I brushed my teeth, I looked into the mirror. Hoping for something to suddenly pull me into the mirror, I continued staring. People often say that the eyes are the doors to the heart. At that moment, all I could see was two black empty pools, tired and weary. I tried staring harder, maybe I can catch a glimpse of my worn out soul. "Is this really me?No, this is not me. Is this the price to pay to finally be a someone?a somebody? Why do I habe to be here? I don't belong in this place!" And just like a recording, those questions kept repeating in my head.
    But it wasn't long until a cold splash of water hit my face, and all of the questions were washed away, just like the droplets of water rolling from my sunburned cheek into the sink. I just realized that the class starts at 8.30, I have to get a move on.

Two People,One Vision,One Heart

Sarah covered her mouth as she yawned. The battered clock was slammed again, sending it back to its slumber of ticks and tocks. As the coffee machine does its job, she showered and dressed. A sense of awkwardness fell upon her as she noticed something wrong but soon it slipped her mind. The toast was kind of burnt today, and as of the coffee,  Arabica was kind of overwhelming and thick but really good stuff.

In no time, the caffeine kicked in and at long last, she suddenly noticed what the awkwardness was about. “Shit he’s gone!” Sarah gasped and quickly raced out of the house. The screeching sound of the tires of the Vios echoed through the urban residency of Damansara Utama.

KL Central as usual, full of life and bustle. And in the midst of it all, there Naim was, jaywalking with not a sign of despair from his face. He liked to tune his ears and listen to the sound rich environment. Maybe he could pick the conversation between lovers, or breakfast orders at the Mcdonalds nearby, maybe someone talking to people on the phone, business partners perhaps? Or a wife? A gust of wind picked up and caressed his long hair, he held his head up to enjoy the breeze, hoping it will take him with it, off to somewhere unknown where he can live a happy life with her.

His mind then went off to other places. To the special day, that day….

Sarah really had to squint to try and make out his writing on the piece of pink paper. It really was hard with his writing, but with his condition, it really was an absolute achievement. And with eyes tearing up with joy and the butterflies in her belly, she whispered to him a small yes. “Love yah gemok” she added after her besties made a commotion about the proposal-at-the-restaurant-stuff. “I’m so not fat!” Naim protested. Sarah then took a fork and gently poked his lovehandles which sent him jumping in surprise.

“JAHAT!”

“So what? You’re gonna sue me?” And she gave another poke to him.

Only laughs were heard at that place that night.

And then it faded, Naim found himself again flying across the darkness which had grew into one of his close friends.

Dr Zul Is standing in front of him, with a file in his hand and his eyes scanning the pages. “we have definitely no problem doing this surgery but it is the effect on both of you I am worried about, both psychologically and physically". “I know, I understand, and I’ll do anything just for her smile.” Said Naim while signing a few papers and lying on the white bed. He remembered taking a deep puff of the anesthesia and antiseptic ridden air of the HUKM operating room.

Another thing he remembered was looking to his right to avoid the bright light overhead and noticing that Sarah was on another bed beside her, fast asleep under sedation, with her eyes wrapped.

Those eyes, the sparkling wonder in it, round, shiny, and purely seductive, overflowing with affection, he always looked for a chance to steal a view on those eyes, to stare at those eyes and dive deep into her soul. But not long after that, fate made a very unfortunate turn. With her one day partially losing her vision and a few days later, was diagnosed with a genetic vision disease.

Naim took a long breath and closed his eyes, forever. “All for you honey.” His tiny heart whispered before spiraling into a deep sleep.

A car honking right in front of him whizzed him back to reality. He was near one of the main roads and needed to cross to get to the monorail station. Upon hearing the beeps, he walked to cross and at that precise moment, a hand held him and guided him, he wriggled his arm a little as the mysterious person took him the other way. “Stop wriggling honey, I’m your eyes, trust me,” the soft voice said, with a hot breath to his ears. 

Familiar with that voice knowing it belonged to Sarah, he jabbed his cane on her feet.”Wow, my wife chased me to the hearts of the city again, you stalker! Have you been following me?”

She gave out a slight laugh, as usual, she saw the aunty who used to sell sweets at a nearby stall. Sarah waved at her, knowing that she was a witness of her following Naim everyday in her Vios, unknowingly, silent, and distant. Watching him as he walked to the station, and as he disappeared up the escalator, she blew a kiss and continued to drive to work. She knew she was not a stalker, just a person in love and with a debt to pay to her hero.

“You’re wearing the blue wedges again?” Naim asked. ‘”Nope, brown ones” She said, dazed from her previous thoughts. “Oh, it must be beautiful on you sayang” Naim said, and that was his only reply.

She held him closer and a bead of tear formed at the corner of her hazel eyes. She knew she didn’t need to hide it. He can’t see it, even her brown wedges from Clarks. He’s blind, and so is love, that’s the reason she can see the world, through his eyes, now a part of her.

“I love you gemok”, Sarah whispered.

“Hahaha, why so random? And for the hundredth time in 3 years!IM NOT GEMOK!” whined Naim as he pinched her nose.

“Ouch that hurts!”

And so, they walked along the street, past the hustling people. It was true love in the heart of KL, with a blind twist. 

************

Nikmat

The scorching sun shone over Karim’s eyes, it blinded him temporarily. He could feel his chubby dimpled cheeks becoming hot and pulsating with the heat. He could feel the perspiration trickling down his forehead and along the furrow between his eyes, the cracks on his parched lips. He could feel the long rumbles and slow moans in his belly. Yet, he was still 4 hours away before breaking fast. Time really slows down during Ramadhan.

Home seemed an eternity away. He really was not in the mood for walking home from school. He mumbled something under his breath, maybe he grumbled? Maybe he cursed? Who knows?

He threw his bag onto the sofa as he entered his humble abode. The nose-piercing yet fragrant smell of his Mum’s ‘Gulai Tempoyak’ settled in his nose. It was like a shot of heroine, addictive. He dragged his limp weak body to the couch.

He inhaled deep, careful not to miss any details in the myriad of aromas lingering heavily in the air.
‘Ahh,’ Karim inhaled and sniffed the pungent mouth-watering scent of ‘tempoyak’. A hint of caramelizing sugar and sourness of milk, perhaps cheesecake(because he heard the noisy sound of the oven)? There was also a salty and oily aroma, ikan masin? And another smell, sour too, yet it was more humid, more like rotting, with a little hint of Nivea. Oh, it was his armpits. Karim scrambled to take his shower and prayers done.
He could feel a void forming in his tummy. But soon he managed to coax himself to his evening nap. He dreamt of ‘nasi kerabu’, ‘lai chi kang’, and surprisingly, Nivea too.

‘I’m home!’, the familiar voice awoke him, Dad has just got back from work. Karim took a curious peek at the things that Abah had brought in his hand. ‘Could it be?’ he whispered, while swallowing his saliva(he didn’t know it was ‘makruh’), Mak Long’s famous Bandung Kick? The heavenly pink creamy liquid with a generous splash of Ice Cream Soda added. He then hasted ecstatically to help his parents to set the table.

As the voice of the local ‘Bilal’ echoed throughout the neighborhood, Karim slurped some ice-cold Bandung Kick, gobbled up a piece of peach cheesecake, then moved on to a generous helping of rice topped with ‘gulai pucuk masak tempoyak’ and a few crunchy salted fish. He ate his fill, then sat back. He wanted more, the feel of emptiness was still lurking in him. He had to do it, he had been holding it back for the whole day.

He stood up and went into the toilet sink, careful to close the door behind him, he took a finger (this time, he used his pinky), and filled it in his nasal cavity.

With eyes shut, he enjoyed and indulged the sweet soothing feeling he achieved by this gross yet satisfying act. He took the finger and grinned as the greenish brown residue on his fingers were washed away by the flowing water, satisfactorily godly. Looks like Ramadhan has its ups and downs after all.

This Isn't Another Girl Meets Boy

Suddenly the lights went out, i put my handbag on the coffee table, thank god it was still dusk, specifically 6.46 in the evening. Another hectic day come and go, and now, a black out happened just as I stepped into the house. Angrily, I flicked the switch but to my dismay, not even a single flicker of light. Suddenly a tap on my back sent me jumping. The hair on my spine jumped and I let out a loud, screeching scream, it echoed through the house. I heard a chuckle coming from the darkly lit figure.

I shouted “Honey! You’re so mean! I hate you!”

Shah laughed and shook my shoulder. “Welcome home!” he said, then continued, “The utility people said there’ll be a blackout till tomorrow due to maintenance work.” Cheekily I said, “Woah! Even a new bungalow in Damansara also experiences blackout!” Shah replied, “Well, now I think the bungalow’s owner would like you to get out of the house now!” While he unlocked the door and opened it for me. We then laughed. A thunder strike crackled and bellowed out of the blue, I immediately jumped to hold my husband’s arms, he laughed again while mumbling “Scaredy-cat!”

We piled the candles we had on the dining table and started lighting them up. From aloe vera to lavender scented candles, we lighted them all. And then we set it different places of the house. As Maghrib came, I proceeded to take a bath and he went to the mosque.

And so, as I was just getting out of the bedroom, a tall white figure with an ugly face jumped at me, and exactly at that time, I slapped it! I knew it was my beloved Shah with his Halloween mask and robe that he went to the mosque with. The house was filled with laughter again. But as silence crept over again, I twitched my ear, the rain had stopped, I then looked through the window. The sky had cleared, I could see the stars, I could see the moon and all the Kuala Lumpur lights at all its splendour. Shah noticed my gleaming eyes and he then said something very surprising, “Want to have a campfire dinner at the garden?” Oh, how could I resist?

I started by defrosting the chicken and beef, then i whipped up a 10-minutes salad and quickly moved to the marinade, some Coke, barbeque sauce, pepper and salt, garlic and lots of love it what Shah prefers when it comes to barbeque marinades. The folks back in Puchong taught me the recipe and it has never failed to attract Shah. Well, as they say, “The key to a man’s heart is through his tummy!” I then left Shah to do the barbequing.

At 9.16, we ate our fill accompanied by the candles, the sound of crickets, the round full moon and starts. Try to compare that with Paris! I ate up 3 steaks and two pieces of chicken with a helpful of salad. As for Shah? He ate twice as much, as usual. Not to forget, with some Coke we got from the nearby department store. We talked about work, business, family stuff and whatnot. But the highlight is yet to come!

The clouds have really gone and I watched the night sky, counting the stars and staring at the moon. The best part was, having my husband with his barbeque stained clothing beside me through each second of it. Also, for the first time, he showed me the stars that we saw, among them that I could recall is the Orion Belt, Scorpio, Gemini and the common North Star. But when it started to drizzle again, we ran helter-skelter, back to the cosiness of our humble abode.

As I wiped my hair, Shah suddenly came in wearing a helmet with a gigantic torchlight attached to it. He looked like one of the gold-miners in Discovery Channel. He then let me wear it, and just like a little child, he made shadow puppets on the tangerine coloured wall. We then found it very amusing, so we built a fort of pillows and blankets, and then continued on making funny shadows on the ceiling. We made birds, cats, dogs and even dragon!

It was not long before Shah fell asleep. His exhausted deep breaths filling the silent room of our house. I covered him with a blanket and he then curled into a foetal position. I smiled at his cuteness and then heard he mumbled, “I love you, Dikna.” A tear crawled on my cheek. That night, as I was falling asleep, I told myself, tonight is the best night of my life.